DISNEY DECIDES TO REJECT BLUESKY STUDIOS

EMPLOYEES FROM  ITS CRONENBERG-ESQUE HIVE MIND

 

February 9th, 2021

 

The only frontier that has ever existed is the self-and

this self destroyed a beloved animation studio. 

On February 9th, the amalgamation that is Disney

arose from its dark cavern in Burbank, California.

Heaving its viscous and horrendously misshapen

bodice into the glaring sunlight, it wheezed and pelted

large globules of sweat, as if it were a hippopotamus pulling itself out of the Nile in 100 degree heat. 

As it finally perched itself on its high pedestal it announced to the awaiting crowd it’s newest testament: “Given the current economic realities, after much consideration and evaluation, we have made the difficult decision to close filmmaking operations at Blue Sky     Editorial illustration by: Angelica Centeno         Studios.” As the monstrosity bellowed this into the sky above, around 450 bodies were expelled from the mass, collapsed and shivering after being rejected from their mother hive. Crews prepared for such circumstances hurried over and began aiding the newly rebirthed beings, although they were unprepared for such quantity, having to prepare a tent in a nearby empty lot to house the rejected beings until they are rehoused. The all-mighty Disney claims that they will “keep in touch” and help the rejected beings find jobs in other studios, which there are currently around 19 or so positions available on the Disney animation studios website. Officers have been brought to the scene to ensure the 450 spawnlings will not fight to the death to rejoin the hive.

One final announcement was stated before it scurried back to its deep hellhole. “Bluesky’s project Nimona has been axed.” Nimona was a film that had 10 months left until completion and was an adaptation of the celebrated graphic novel of the same name by She-Ra Princess of Power and LumberJanes creator, Noelle Stevenson. It peeped one of it’s bulbous heads one more time stating that since it now owns the BlueSky IP and characters that they’re already working on a Ice Age children’s TV show on Disney+, before finally fully returning to the earth. 

Disney’s massive being currently has absorbed 30 percent of the entertainment industry- making it one of the largest amalgamations in the industry currently, having also purchased Fox, Pixar, National Geographic, Marvel, Lucasarts, and ESPN to name a few. The rejected artists’ families have been notified and will be picking up the rebirthed in the following weeks.